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Catch Up Time...(xanga got the better of me) - Mirando el Mundo con los Ojos Cerrados [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Jeff

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Catch Up Time...(xanga got the better of me) [Nov. 12th, 2004|09:43 pm]
Jeff
[mood |torn]
[music |Mad World - Donnie Darko Soundtrack]

I hate caring. What happened to my goddamn apathy? It used to be so easy to ignore reality, and now...yeah...

I haven't really slept in two days because my brain is about to explode from the pressure brought on by actually caring. That and I keep having out of body experiences all the time.....about every few minutes....that is not a good sign. Also, I am seeing images freeze before me, like looking at what something really is, instead of how we see it superficially. (And no I am not crazy or on drugs)

I just don't see the point of most things anymore. I actually contemplated the point of a television for ten minutes yesterday…who does that….

So between seeing no point to life, and the overwhelming burden of actually caring things are quite swell at the moment.

And to top that all off….I think a rule in my life is that if there is something good it can only last a little while.
If that made no sense that’s because I am being purposely vague…..so it’s not you

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Life is better.
(Or as the most wise Michelle said it is going sideways)
I am getting a single room, or if not that my friend Dave is moving in with me.
I think I figured things out (it took a long shower to cleanse my brain).
The future is a funny thing...sometimes is can be so predictable, others there are so many variables that you don't have a clue what is going to happen...
This is one of those times. (And I like to at least have a general idea of the future, so it's driving me nuts).
The other day someone said, “you can’t put all your eggs in one basket”…as stupid as it sounds it was perhaps one of the most profound things I had heard in a while….just because of it’s relevance of the happenings as of late in the world of Jeffrey Jurewicz…
Last night was pretty chill…. hopefully the weekend will follow in its example…
I hope the immediate, and slightly more distant future work out the way I want them to….if not that’s life…right?

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Philosophy is really getting to me lately.
(It fucks with your mind)
My apathy still seems to be lost, and getting farther away at that, cause I keep caring more and more about a few different things.
I think the room is going to be mine alone after thanksgiving break.
I also think it’ll be mine for the rest of the year (and that statement means something other than what it says so don’t worry about the redundancy).
I don’t know why it is that I am letting that bother me. I have never really been that way before, and to start now, or in just this case is stupid.
I think emotions are contagious, and as such maybe one of the few things I am preoccupied by could end up being a good thing. (Even though I really don’t want it to happen.) I mean last night was so much fun, and it is probably because it wasn't laced with emotions....it was just spontaneous fun. I don't want to write anyone off though, especially in this case.
I have to finish my paper, but my thoughts are too distant to do that right now. I have a few days to do it anyway.
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